A series of Unconsequential movies !


Unconsequential  is a spelling mistake, but really who cares, especially if we are going to talk about the movies that we are going to!

First is Rampage, and the first enlightened thought while watching the movie was the realization that Dwyane Johnson (the Rock) is nothing but Mithun with better CGI (Computer Graphics). At conceptual level the movies are same, invoking a superhero against all odds. In San Andreas it is an earthquake and in Rampage there are mutated animals and the Rock taking a leap against logic. Just look at this scene below, it’s Mithun taking the leap, literally taking, leaps, flights, etc. but with poor CGI, rather no CGI

Coming back to Rampage, the movie has a mutated alligator, which does not stop at machine gun fire, tanks and armored vehicles firing, even planes firing at it, but wait, when the Rock comes cooking, a light fire from a Gun is enough to distract the 50 foot monster. Plus when 100 floors collapse with the Rock on the roof, guess who survives, the Rock, a damsel, and half of a helicopter. The worst thing about Rampage was :NO 3D, there should be a rule, if it is a logic defying disaster movie, it has to be 3D otherwise no certification for it!

ithun tithun mitun

mithun vs rock
Just look at the composure, Mithun lifting the full rack of weight, see the calmness on the face and there is the Rock ‘exerting’ effort

anyways another Mithun Gem here!

A Quiet Place!

Another movie (which has rave reviews!) that defies basic logic is ‘A Quiet Place’. We didn’t go into the premise of Rampage as there is no premise, 3 animals that become mutated, one Rock, a good actress as his damsel, some good jokes, no science, and no questions. However Rampage was marketed as a low IQ thriller, contrastingly ‘A Quiet Place’ was marketed as a thoughtful movie.

 quiet place movie

The premise is that Earth is invaded by monsters who can’t see but can attack using sense of sound, they are killing humans and it is claimed that they wipe out most of the earth, at least the radio using world. I have to say that the creators missed the setting of the movie, it should have been set a century earlier. Today’s sound proof architecture we have, presumably becomes better in near future, and the moment we realize that these creatures are using sound (I mean it is in the papers!) how long does it take to get refuge in sound proof environments. The second flaw, in the movie we are taken to a waterfall, and the characters talk loudly, theory being that the sound of the waterfall drowns their voice below detection levels and hence they are safe. We live in the most noisy generation of all time, can’t we create drowning shattering sounds to distract the monsters, Dhinchak Pooja will be our savior! Plus who thinks of getting pregnant in such a situation that too when you are left with two children, is there any risk reward analysis going on or not? (by otherwise intelligent and far sighted people)

All this would have been highly plausible if it was set in late 19th century or early twentieth, Plus in the 21st I am sure a big bomb would have been used before things got to the 428th day!

The only thing that saves the movie are the performances, and the theme of the movie is novel. Silence, no or very little background sound creates quite an eerie atmosphere, however the film is so quiet that anyone within 10 meters of you with popcorn is going to be an irritant, NO POP-CORN allowed for the movie.

Truth or Dare

If you want a rehash of the final destination movies (poor rehash) with a mixture of those movies which you only watch online as they are so poor that they never get a full theatrical release, you get Truth or Dare, or you just get the Truth behind why such movies don’t make it to the screen and are worth as ‘premieres’ on Star Movies!

truth or dare movie

Besides ‘I dare you to tell the truth’ there is nothing novel in the movie, the ending is like ‘why’, the masks from the Purge are now people with extra stretched smiles who ask ‘Truth or Dare’

On the upside the tickets were just 100 Rs and the whole movie was run for just five people, so worth the air conditioning consumed at least!.

Now remember the fine October was sandwiched between watching these movies, however the last in this series is a Real Gem

Nanu ki Jaanu

It is supposedly a comic horror film, and it stays true to its absurd genre for the first half, providing some hilarious moments, but then it falls off a cliff in the second half. And scene by scene it keeps on dropping, the movie looked promising as it had Abhay Deol, Patralekha and company, but the movie veers into absurd sub, sub-plots. The ghost is everything, a social reformer, anti-tobacco campaigner, anti domestic violence, anti theft, anti superstition (ironically).

nanu ki jaanu

Again with poor CGI like trying to use glass box as replacement for ice cube having a body, and ghost with a mysteriously green skin, the movie just commits one blunder after another. A scene shows the mom leaving in car to leave the city, but in the next scene she is found injured at her apartment. In trying to fit in the anti domestic violence angle, the ghost which otherwise needs nothing to make people fly, needs to possess a child to lift the mother and hit the abuser. I am sure in the post edit, someone came up to the director and said, ‘hey, the mom had left the city, and how is she back at home.’ The director then tried to paper over this logic flaw by making Abhay Deol ask, ‘Why did you come back?’ which gets a reply, ‘Because you called me on phone’. A miss call got her back!

However the dance of absurdity reaches its apogee in the last scene, with the big non reveal that Abhay Deol is one who killed Patralekha by hitting her while reaching for his phone while driving.

The movie in trying to give a social message of No Phone while driving and Use helmet while driving, delivers a gem of a sequence of dialogs between Abhay and Patralekha. Abhay says ‘bas 2 minute ke liye phone pick kiya’ and she replies ‘main bhi 1 minute mein helmet pehen sakti thi’ and there is a series of sentences which revolve around one minute and two minutes which is enough to propel the audience out, without waiting for the dance number with the end credits!

mithun
Only Mithun can take cycle as a cover from gun fire!

The Breakdown

Rampage 80%
Truth or Dare 75%
A quiet place 85%
Nanu ki Jaanu 75%
last scene from Nanu ki Jaanu(ek minute) 100%
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