Days Under the Crescent SunStoryPune1990s
Results Supplement · SSC (Tenth Standard) · Maharashtra(as remembered)

The Top 100

Board de Merite

Toppers, prodigies, a hundred relatives, and what you actually get for coming in the merit list

Every tenth-standard student in Maharashtra spends a year inside one question: are you going to come in the merit list? I was never in contention. That left me plenty of time to work out what the merit list actually gets you.

By Vinaay Patil5 min read
Results day: a crowd of parents and students in sarees, sweater vests and yellow school shorts presses towards a big Merit List board covered in a grid of tiny passport photos, an uncle pointing at one of them, while off to the left a schoolboy in a white shirt and yellow shorts leans against a lamp post, calmly eating a vada pav and watching the crowd.
Front pageResults day. Everyone at the board, one boy at the lamp post.
00Op-ed

Things I Have Always Wondered

There are many things I have always wondered about.

What do toppers think about on their way to an exam? I, for one, was scared crapless on exam day. My only thought was, "Let's get this over with." So I wonder what those Super Mario elites think about on the big day. I will top this exam. This exam is chillar. What motivates them was always a puzzle.

chillar: loose change; small stuff
Outside the Examination Hall door, a schoolboy in a white shirt and yellow shorts sweats and winces, clutching his hall ticket and pencil box, while on the right a bespectacled topper in the same uniform strolls past with his hands in his pockets and a smug smile, a thought bubble of loose coins above his head.
Fig. 1Left: let's get this over with. Right: this exam is chillar.
01Features

The Prodigies

I look with equal amazement at those child prodigies who, at the age of 14 or 15, are already answering interview questions: "I always knew I wanted to be a cricketer, or a tennis player, or a singer…" And I am like, "Abe, apni umar ka toh khayal kar!!"

Hey, at least act your age!

Anyway, if Wayne Rooney can write an autobiography at the age of 20, what is the harm in other people doing it? I would have written mine too, but it would have been endless pages of: did nothing, went to school, came back, went to play, came back, slept, woke up late, rushed to school, thought of good excuses for not doing homework, sat in school… Good thing I did not write one.

A bored boy rests his chin on his hand at a wooden study desk, a pencil behind his ear, beside a huge spiral notebook titled My Life that spills onto the floor; every row repeats the same little sketches: school bag, cricket bat, bed, alarm clock, a running boy, the school gate.
Fig. 2My autobiography, all volumes. Same page, every page.
02Profile

Harry Puttar

I wonder where they get their maturity from. I once met a prodigy who had completed his bachelor's in engineering at the age of 18. At 12 he had appeared for the tenth-standard exam. We used to call him Harry Puttar.

At the age of 12, I was thinking: When am I supposed to stop wearing these ridiculously short and pokingly yellow pants to school?

Under a sign reading SSC Examination in Progress, Silence Please, a schoolboy stands outside a window looking down at his own bright yellow shorts, while inside the hall, among much bigger teenage students, a small bespectacled boy sits writing calmly, his feet dangling above the floor.
Fig. 3Inside: the tenth-standard exam, age 12. Outside: the shorts question, age 12.

I wonder what Harry will do at the age of 50. Retire!!!

One thing I never quite understood: why did Harry the genius, the prodigy, the 18-year-old engineer… JOIN A SOFTWARE COMPANY after his degree?!! Well, if you are going to join a software company after all that, why not do it as an engineer at 23? Or why be an engineer at all? Be a BCom with a computer course at 23, or a BSc with a computer course at 23, or a mechanical engineer with five years of manufacturing experience at 28 (with a computer course). Or why not just do a computer course after __ _____?

Why the hell would you sprint the first 100 metres of a race, only to run out of the stadium exit?

03Explainer

Board de Merite

But one superlative mystery boggles my mind more than all of these.

Board de Merite. No, it is not a French word; I hardly know any French. It is a reversed-order term for those bright young minds who manage to get into the Merit List (the TOP 100) of the SSC (tenth standard) exams.

To begin with, as I have said in an earlier story, this breed was a rarity at Crescent High. Maybe if there were a list for the BOTTOM 100… No, no. Those who might have been eligible for a Bottom 100 spot were disqualified by the school in the ninth standard itself, to maintain a 100% result record. What a pity.

But anyone who has gone through the rigour of a tenth-standard Board exam in Maharashtra, or perhaps in any other board in India, can testify to this craze for getting into the Merit List. It is huge.

04Interview

The Questionnaire

There is huge peer pressure. There is relative pressure, from close and far-off relatives whom you see only while you are in the tenth, and who then mysteriously are never seen again. Neighbours, parents, pets.

A 1990s Pune living room: a boy on a low stool holds a cup of tea with a fixed polite smile, facing a sofa crowded with aunties and uncles who lean in, fingers raised mid-question, one holding a newspaper, one taking notes; a wall calendar shows March 1994 with a date circled in red, and a cat on the windowsill stares at the boy too.
Fig. 4March circled. Even the cat has a question.

Typical conversations begin in a particular tone. And then begins a long, pointless set of questions.

Questionnaire for a tenth-standard studentTo be repeated by every visitor
They askedI thoughtI said
Q1"You are in Tenth… right na?"Really? We have been neighbours for ten years, your son is in my class. Do you have Ghajini disease?"Yes."
Q2"So when are the board exams?"Really? For the past three decades they have been in March."March."
Q3"So how is your preparation?"Other than engaging in pointless conversations that remind me I am in the tenth?"Good."
Q4"So how much did you get in the tests?"Which one? School tests, unit tests or terminals? The class Sunday tests, the test series, or the prelims?"Decent."
Q5"So good. You should work hard."Really?"Yes."
Q6"So we should expect your photo in the paper?"For what? Killing a mindless person asking mindless questions?"I will try."
Q7"You know, my cousin's brother's in-laws' aunty's daughter came fifth in the board exams."Really? That is your claim to fame?"That's great, she must be intelligent."(you can't control yourself all the time)

Answers given: politelyAnswers thought: not for publication

05Special report

You Get Claimed

But to all these pop-in relatives I had one question they could never answer: "OK, if a person comes in the merit list, what exactly happens?"

You get admission to a good college? DUH. There are five top colleges in Pune, each with a capacity of 700. I bet those who do not get into the Merit List get admission too.

You get a medal? So, a lifelong reminder that you spent one year of your life as a bookworm.

Here is what you get.

YOU GET CLAIMED.

A bewildered bespectacled topper with a medal round his neck stands in a doorway, mobbed on all sides: relatives push bouquets at him, tuition-class owners hold up banners with his photo reading Bright Future Classes, Achievers Academy, Success Tuition, Star Coaching and Excellent Classes, each saying Our Student!, teachers pat his shoulder, and an excited aunty holds out the receiver of a ringing black telephone.
Fig. 5Five banners, one face. Everybody's student.
  • You are claimed by a dozen tuition classes in the city, each claiming that you were their student at some point (KG to tenth) and that they have a share in your claim to fame.
  • You are claimed by a hundred relatives, who pop in with flowers to congratulate you, every one of them saying, with perfect hindsight, "I knew you would come in the merit list."
  • You are claimed by your teachers, who probably never noticed you much in class.
  • You are claimed by your so-called friends, who call to congratulate you, and on every call you have no idea who is on the other end of the line.
06Analysis

This Next Exam Is Important

But just imagine the pressure it creates. Apparently the tenth board is followed by the twelfth board, which is followed by a quest to be the University topper in every year of your bachelor's, and then a quest for a perfect GPA in your master's. And every time you slip, your peers remind you: you are a TOPPER, do not waste everything you have done your entire life, this NEXT exam is IMPORTANT.

The topper's road ahead

  1. Std XBoard
  2. Std XIIBoard
  3. DegreeYear 1
  4. DegreeYear 2
  5. DegreeYear 3
  6. DegreeYear 4
  7. Master'sPerfect GPA
  8. Next examto be announced

So I am glad that I am not a Board ranker. To be frank, I was never in contention for it. Miles away. Not even close.

Because, after all, what is the point?

07Careers

Copy, Paste

After being a merit ranker in the tenth, getting another medal in the twelfth, being the University topper in your bachelor's and getting another medal for it… you are going to sit next to a person who took five years to finish a four-year degree, and both of you are going to copy-paste a piece of computer code from one file to another. And the other person is probably better at it.

An open-plan software office: on the left a sweating young man in glasses with three gold medals round his neck and a framed SSC Merit List certificate on his desk hits Copy on his screen; on the right a relaxed colleague leans back chewing a pen, a Ctrl C Ctrl V mug beside him, his screen showing the same Copy and Paste menu. Behind them a red running track runs out through an open door marked Exit.
Fig. 6Same code, same desk. One of them ran the first 100 metres.

Oh yes, I thought this crazy obsession was found only in India. As it turns out, US schools have it too. There the TOPPER is called the VALEDICTORIAN.

Fancy name, same shit.

— Vinaay Patil

What the Merit List Gets You

A not-even-close contender's summary

  • Admission to a good collegeyou'd get it anyway
  • A medal1 year as a bookworm
  • Tuition classes claiming you12
  • Relatives with flowers100
  • Callers you recognised0
  • Next examIMPORTANT
  • Final desknext to the 5-year guy
Not in contention

Days Under the Crescent Sun

Stories from school days and a 1990s Pune childhood: plans that were too clever, teachers who were never questioned, and the people who made it all bearable. More from exam season: Where Is the Paper?

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